Singles NZ

Dating Advice: Let Go of the Need for Women’s Approval and Become an Authentic Man

Matt — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 11:16:01 +0000

Need personal dating advice and singles coaching in Auckland, New Zealand, from a professional? Matt Oliver offers his services as a trusted authority on how to bring more attraction and joy into your life, and what’s more, Matt’s services are available for a free trial for those with a valid Credit Card. We will work together in phone and email consultations and either a 1-on-1 or group field training session.

Email matt@singlesnz.com

Guest post from Just Dating Girls

You must have found that there is an obsession with appearances in the seduction community and men’s dating advice. Mostly you are supposed to show that you are not interested in her or you may learn to say things in such a different way that you don’t come off as needing her approval.

It doesn’t means actually that they are suggesting you to LET GO OF THE NEED FOR APPROVAL. They are suggesting you simply pretend that you don’t need her approval.

Big Difference.

Putting on an inauthentic front can’t help if from inside you are showing that you need her approval and from outside you are showing that you don’t. You will be screwed as most women are sensitive and they can feel it.

Some time ago when I needed an approval from a woman, saying things or how I pretended her didn’t mattered much. Women can feel it either way unless even they were just as needy as you.

I had to purge my neediness if I really wanted a healthy and non needy woman. I had to become authentically whole to just show the outer appearance of not being needy. So, you must be thinking and want to know how I did that.

Well, it was not done alone.

I had to get training from a dating coach who was specialized in man/woman dynamics and I took it on as my first assignment. It was because I was to practice being FULLY IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE, even if none of the women approved me ever or found any attraction in me.

Damn! That was a little bit bitter pill to swallow. I mean to say that none of the women would find me attractive ever?

I took the coaching even if it was a intense proposition. After that I stopped everything like dating women and approaching them, I just sat on my fire of need, fully feeling and burning through all my attachments. Instead of resisting it as I did most of the time, I allowed myself to enjoy and feel it deeply and totally.

After some time passed, I realized that it was not so bad.

There was actually an exhilarating freedom arising from the process of fully embracing the neediness. I had fewer grips on it whenever I tried to embrace more. After couple of months and some intense emotional releases, I felt another side of neediness which was running in my life for decades.

Women for whom I was desperate to date in the past, who were giving me LJBF (Let’s just be friends) were experiencing me as completely new and different. They now used to say “Wow, you feel good!” Now they used to be more open to me than before emotionally, energetically and sexually.

I was not doing anything special or different; I just did the inner work to purge my neediness. And they were basically throwing themselves on me and I could have accepted their advances or not. There was no attachment.

Now there was no need of putting an appearance of non-neediness as simple I was not in need of it. Few guys wanted to do the work but if you are one of the reader even you may want to do.

Being honest, it was really uncomfortable at that time, sitting in the fire faced with my own neediness, really owing. It was embracing but I had to accept it. But after that I got many benefits also like more peace, more freedom…and more beautiful, sexy, wild, fulfilling experiences with women than I could have ever imagined in my whole life.

I just needed was a good coach to help me on this process. Nothing like books on seduction helped me. So, if you’re one of those guys who’s more interested in cultivating

Authenticity rather than Managing Appearances… It’s my sincere hope and desire for you that you to have the same Freedom and Ease and rewarding experiences with women that I did so that you would enjoy the life.

Having Girls as Friends Makes Meeting Girls and Dating Easier

Matt — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 10:53:58 +0000

Guest post from Just Dating Girls.

Having female friends is not as difficult as it seems. A lot of men think having female friends means you have to go all out to act like their girlfriends, chatting about shoes and shopping malls and the other stuff girls like to talk about and do. You’re wrong. You don’t have to act like girl to have female friends. If you’re one of those who does this, then you’ve only succeeded in telling the girls around you that you’re not a serious proposition. You’re nothing that’s new, special or exciting.

To have female friends, all you have to do is be yourself. It’s that simple. You act like you do with your guy friends and you’ll never chase the girls away. Be natural, if you act your way into making girls your friends, one day your script will run out and the show will come to an end, leaving you in the out to dry.

When this happens, you are most likely to fall back on your ego and believe that you don’t need female friends; well you’re not wrong you’re the last man on the planet of only men. But since you’re not, here are the reasons we all need female friends.

Having girl friends (not girlfriends) will help boost your confidence when you talk to women making you comfortable around women.

This is a fact. If you don’t believe this, then you should probably observe your friends who have sisters. They’re naturally at home in a crowd of women. You will be too if you have female friends who you relate with comfortably. Women have a natural intuition for noticing uncomfortable men around them and they will eat you up. If you are uncomfortable around women you like, even if they like you they’ll be uncomfortable near you and will try to get as far away as possible.

If you’re uncomfortable around women, the best medicine for this is to hang around them a lot and try to get them to be your friend. Once you succeed in making female friends, wooing them should not be a problem. If you hang around women a lot, it wears off on you and when you try to woo the next girl at the salon, she’ll sense that your not unfamiliar in the women territory and will definitely relate with you like you’ve been her friend all her life and all thanks to a female friend of yours who is very familiar with the topics that strike the interest of this girl.

Another advantage of having female friends is that you never have to recite your old pick up lines over and over again. A lot of guys have some of the best pick up lines in their manual. You can trust them to get the interest of the girl sitting at the bar but those pick up lines will only work as far as the next 30 minutes after that there’s nothing in the manual that helps to keep the conversation steaming and the girl loses interest and walks away. Having female friends helps prevent this from happening because you already have the experience of holding a conversation with a girl for more than 30 minutes and surely this would work for you.

Having female friends will help you fine tune your wooing skills, trust me they’re the best teachers when it comes to women affairs!

Singles NZ Dating Coach and Singles Advice Auckland

Matt — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 13:09:32 +0000

Need personal dating advice and singles coaching in Auckland, New Zealand, from a professional? Matt Oliver offers his services as a trusted authority on how to bring more attraction and joy into your life, and what’s more, Matt’s services are available for a free trial for those with a valid Credit Card. We will work together in phone and email consultations and either a 1-on-1 or group field training session.

Email matt@singlesnz.com