Singles NZ

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Guest post from Just Dating Girls

You must have found that there is an obsession with appearances in the seduction community and men’s dating advice. Mostly you are supposed to show that you are not interested in her or you may learn to say things in such a different way that you don’t come off as needing her approval.

It doesn’t means actually that they are suggesting you to LET GO OF THE NEED FOR APPROVAL. They are suggesting you simply pretend that you don’t need her approval.

Big Difference.

Putting on an inauthentic front can’t help if from inside you are showing that you need her approval and from outside you are showing that you don’t. You will be screwed as most women are sensitive and they can feel it.

Some time ago when I needed an approval from a woman, saying things or how I pretended her didn’t mattered much. Women can feel it either way unless even they were just as needy as you.

I had to purge my neediness if I really wanted a healthy and non needy woman. I had to become authentically whole to just show the outer appearance of not being needy. So, you must be thinking and want to know how I did that.

Well, it was not done alone.

I had to get training from a dating coach who was specialized in man/woman dynamics and I took it on as my first assignment. It was because I was to practice being FULLY IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE, even if none of the women approved me ever or found any attraction in me.

Damn! That was a little bit bitter pill to swallow. I mean to say that none of the women would find me attractive ever?

I took the coaching even if it was a intense proposition. After that I stopped everything like dating women and approaching them, I just sat on my fire of need, fully feeling and burning through all my attachments. Instead of resisting it as I did most of the time, I allowed myself to enjoy and feel it deeply and totally.

After some time passed, I realized that it was not so bad.

There was actually an exhilarating freedom arising from the process of fully embracing the neediness. I had fewer grips on it whenever I tried to embrace more. After couple of months and some intense emotional releases, I felt another side of neediness which was running in my life for decades.

Women for whom I was desperate to date in the past, who were giving me LJBF (Let’s just be friends) were experiencing me as completely new and different. They now used to say “Wow, you feel good!” Now they used to be more open to me than before emotionally, energetically and sexually.

I was not doing anything special or different; I just did the inner work to purge my neediness. And they were basically throwing themselves on me and I could have accepted their advances or not. There was no attachment.

Now there was no need of putting an appearance of non-neediness as simple I was not in need of it. Few guys wanted to do the work but if you are one of the reader even you may want to do.

Being honest, it was really uncomfortable at that time, sitting in the fire faced with my own neediness, really owing. It was embracing but I had to accept it. But after that I got many benefits also like more peace, more freedom…and more beautiful, sexy, wild, fulfilling experiences with women than I could have ever imagined in my whole life.

I just needed was a good coach to help me on this process. Nothing like books on seduction helped me. So, if you’re one of those guys who’s more interested in cultivating

Authenticity rather than Managing Appearances… It’s my sincere hope and desire for you that you to have the same Freedom and Ease and rewarding experiences with women that I did so that you would enjoy the life.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 4th, 2009 at 11:16 am and is filed under Men's Advice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.